My oldest son, Hugh, in training to become a rock musician. He now has all the trappings - pierced ears, a row of silver earrings, tattoes on his arm, and, final shock for his poor Mum - a Mohawk hairdo that would scare old ladies at night! He looks pretty fearsome when he is in his full regalia, and is probably already thoroughly sick of my warnings to "walk on the other side" if he is confronted by any testosterone fuelled tyro.

Because the fact is that, despite all appearances to the contrary (at the moment), you could not find a kinder, gentler, more considrerate young man, (yes, I am biased!). He is a walking reminder to me, if nothing else is, that it is unwise to judge someone completely by appearances. (And to tell the truth, he does actually look rather cool and completely "the part" for when he leaves for college, the Academy of Contemporary Music, where he will study vocals in the Autumn).

Journal prompt. Write about the many and varied ways that your children have found to shock you. Purple hair? pelmet skirts? Rings through their noses and bells on their......whatever. Has it been stuff that you have been able to take in your stride - or "expressions of individuality" with which you have found it more diffcult to cope. How DID you cope - or did it cause a real rift between you?.